Monthly Archives: December 2010

Dec19

What is your happiness?

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I have been thinking lately that it might be hard for me to ever develop a blog following.  Most of the blogs that do well seem to have a purpose, a mission statement.  That is something that I don’t have, won’t have.  I know I am way too random to ever keep to a theme and I hate making promises I can’t keep.
The goal of my blog is to make me happy.  Discussing my life and my kids makes me happy.  Talking about current issues, controversial topics and debates makes me happy.  Even my epiphanies and grammar lessons make me happy.  That is all I care about.
I know that sounds selfish, but it’s not.  I live my entire life with happiness as my goal.  It affects everything and everyone in my life in a positive way.  My definition of happiness includes many things. It means my children are healthy and happy, my hubby loves me and is happy and that all my menagerie are healthy and seem as happy as you can gather from animals.  It means financially we have a little extra and that our bills are paid.  It means we have a roof over our heads, food on our table and clothing to wear.  It means I must have my family and close friends around me and that we all hang out all the time, enjoying the company of each other.  It means so much more than I can explain.  It does not mean I am rich and successful at work or that I can exist within my family and friend units without too much trouble.  I need more than that.
I think many people think they are happy because they don’t define it.  They smile and think, I can deal with everything in my life so that is good enough.  They settle and spout about how happy they are in between all their complaining and negativity.  That is the key right there, every one has bad days, but if over half the things you say are negative then you are not happy.  True happiness begets positivity and vice versa.  
If you have to drown yourself in alcohol, cigarettes, food, gambling, drugs every single day then you are not happy.  To be happy is not to deal with things by avoiding them or numbing yourself to life.  That is not living and that is definitely not happiness.
Happiness is the silence between to people who love each other and don’t feel the need to fill the air with meaningless chit-chat.  Happiness is the smile on your children’s face when they accomplish something.  Happiness is knowing you did the right thing, said the right thing no matter what the consequence.
What is your happiness?
Dec10

my 25 random addictions

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I posted this on FB, but thought I would add it here too.

Hello my name is Ryan and i am a addict. If i must do this then the twenty five things i write will have to be things i am addicted too. .

 1. My kids…I couldn’t exist with Gillian’s random knowledge, Braeleigh’s cuddly hugs or Dominik’s sweet, sweet smiles.

 2. My man…hard to believe but for once (and for forever) I have found a man I can’t live without….he is me made over as a man…I swear!

 3. My family….my momma is my best friend, my sisters are my strength, my grandparents are the foundation that hold me up and my life would be so sparse and sad without the love and support of every other family member that I am close to.

 4. My girls (especially my goddesses, you know who you are!)…you are my sounding board, my support group, my angel and my devil, my advisors, my co-conspirators and my partners in crime.  I love you all!

 5. My zoo…my puppy-dogs are the best, even when they make me nuts and my kitty is some weird sort of structure to my life because she has always been there and is consistent…as for the rest of the menagerie of animals that make a life in my house for however short or long, I love them, whatever their purpose and I will probably never stop letting my kids bring home kitties, frogs, rabbits, etc.

 6. My beliefs….most of you won’t understand them and I won’t get into them here….but they make me, well me

 7. Music…whatever kind I am in the mood for, I love almost all of it and it can make or break my mood for the day. I sing, I dance…with or without an audience…I shoulda been a ROCKSTAR! Just for those of you who happen to be unaware, my favorite band is Aerosmith and I want to do bad things to Steven Tyler and Joe Perry…

8. Art…I have lived and breathed art most of my life…I write, I draw, I paint, I sew, I make candles, I make soap, I sketch, I can craft just about anything I decide to try to…

 9. Books…I read and read and read….I love all kinds of books, murder mystery, crime, history, fantasy, love, poetry, relationships, how-to, biography….

 10. FOOD…I love eating it, cooking it, serving it, looking at it, thinking about it….

 11. Pictures…I have tens of thousands of pictures…literally…I take pictures of everything, all the time, I love curling up with my kids and rehashing theevent through pictures…oh and my house is covered, I can never bring myself to take old ones down so I just keep filling up walls.

12. Housework…my mom and my grandma might disagree here but my addiction doesn’t mean my place is spotless….but I am incapable of sitting down if I have housework to do….and I actually don’t hate it.

13. Hair dye….use it regularly and change it often…I truly believe I would be so fickle in so many other parts of my life if I didn’t change my hair color and style so often…

 14. Facebook….it’s my way to connect when I have too many things to do and I love that I can share and conversate with family and friends that I wouldn’t have the time to see in real life, those are relationships I don’t have to miss out on now.

 15. Computer games, currently Frontierville…it’s my way to mindless decompress after a crying baby, fighting kids or just a long day saps my energy…plus I think its awesome that you can walk through fences like a ghost and scare full size grizzly bears by jumping up and down and waving your arms…

 16. Exclamation points and the triple period…well punctuation and symbols in general really…I’m not sure why people have trouble gathering feelings, emotion, mood, frame of mind, etc from emails and written word these days…I write like I talk, exclamation points when I’m excited and in real life I would be louder and over-exaggerating awesomeness…when there are several periods, I am thinking and possibly changing subjects, just like real life!

17. Make-up…I have a love affair with make-up, particularly liquid eyeliner and eyeshadow…it makes me happy and it’s fun to put on, I own every color imaginable and yes girls if you try you can pull off any color!

18. Tootsie Rolls…they are awesome and that is all.

19. Googly Eyes…every craft project needs them, they rock…and they make things look silly and alive…neon ones are the best…

20. Raspberries…no, not the fruit, the kind you blow on babies tummies…they are funny and sound like farts…right now my arm is my son’s favorite toy, he will sit for 30 minutes and blow raspberries on my arm…I love it!

21. Movies…I could not live without movies, I think tv is awful in general with the exception of a small percentage of shows…so I watch movies all the time in between those good shows, and honestly I usually watch the same movie over and over and over for a few days before I tire of it…right now I’m watching The Family Stone, it makes me feel holiday-ish and after watching it I want to hang out with my Mom and Mamaw…

22. The Big Bang Theory…the single greatest tv show ever! I own every season, I adore the characters and think the humor is amazing. ‘Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.’ ~ Sheldon Cooper

23. Wii…love the games, love the real movement and love that the whole family can participate…we brought it to Christmas Eve dinner once and we all got tipsy and bowled until 2am, even my 70 yr old Grandma…it doesn’t get more awesome than that

24. Shoes…stilettos, boots, flip-flop, pumps, sandals, tennis shoes…leather, snakeskin, suede…no heel, wedge heel, 4 inch heel…they all look wonderful in my custom closet designed to hold, you guessed it! Shoes!

25. Last but not least…the word ‘awesome’. No explanation necessary.
Dec10

Have you met her mother?

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It’s a line often said by my friends when talking about me. It is the end-all line when there is nothing left to explain why I am who I am. You might find it odd that this would be said often enough that I would devote an entire blog post to it. Let me explain.
I am a very loud person.  I am a natural leader. I am very, very blunt. Very honest. I sometimes lack a filter. I have many strong opinions.  I am a liberal and have many controversial beliefs. I don’t take any crap from anyone. These are values, strengths and faults that my mother instilled in me.  She’s the heart of who I am.  She worked on making me an independent, opinionated person and these traits are what most people see.  Especially people who like to make excuses, because to me excuses are crap, a stinking load of bullcrap.
My mother also taught me to be a good person.  She taught me to be a great friend, thoughtful of my footprint on the Earth and through her mistakes (sorry Mom) how to be an amazing mother. I am loyal to a fault, a fault I have been working on lately. Who would think you would need to learn how to not always be a great friend but just merely good? With some people you do and if you have no clue what I am talking about then you are a lucky person.
Sometimes offering all you have is more than a person can handle (I guess). Sometimes people are so guilty about the mistakes they have made in their lives that any offer to help or comment about their troubles provokes anger you didn’t realize they had.  And they direct it at you, because you noticed, because you cared enough to say something. My mom is the reason I care that much. She always cared that much.  She always cared enough to risk saying something honest, something true, when it needed to be said, regardless of the consequences.  It’s that right thing to do.  Even if that person walks away from you, from the truth, it is the right thing to do.
I am who I am because she is who she is.  I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you Mom.
Here is a sneak peek of my momma through some of her FB statuses and comments over the last few months:
~Rock on you number playing friends of mine, to all my FB friends, know that you are my friend on FB because I either love you or really like you! You know which you are, but you all mean something to me and have brought joy into my life! You are all my number 1 in you own special way!
 
~I love strong women who stand up for what they believe in. If that is drama then I am all for it! Yes, it would have been nice for it to have never had to happen. Bill will have to learn to shut the hell up every once in while and listen. I was very proud of how Barbara called them all out!
~Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: “WOW! What a ride!” Anonymous
~You know you are a guy’s girl when it is football Sunday, your man is working and you still have every TV in the house on football, making a awesome pot of Chili and homemade salsa! Welcome fall, I am enjoying you!
~The purpose of life is not to be happy – but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all. Leo Rosten
~I got my toes in water, ass in the sand, stars are shining, a sangria in hand, life is good today, life is good today!
~Legislation blocked that would have repealed the law banning homosexuals from serving openly in the military. What a defeat for our gay and lesbian service members who have and are right now risking their lives for our freedoms! And to add to the defeat, it also blocked a pay raise for all our troops. Really Washington???
‎~”No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.” Barbara De Angelis – Translated, quit bitching about your life and do something about it or remain as is and shut the hell up!
~I am so tired of these others who complain constantly about friends or husbands/wives etc… and then just sit on their lazy asses and do nothing to step up to plate in their own world and hit a home run for themselves or at least try!!
~“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” Ashley Smith
~There is only one queen living in this house baby and it’s me!
‎~”The challenge of social justice is to evoke a sense of community that we need to make our nation a better place, just as we make it a safer place.” Marian Wright Edelman
‎~”We are here to make a better world! No amount of rationalization or blaming can preempt the moment of choice each of us brings to our situation here on this planet.” Abbie Hoffman
‎~” If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years!” Bertrand Russell
~”When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.”
Jimi Hendrix
 
~Expectations can NEVER be MET if expectations are NEVER SET!
~Smirnoff Ice $4.00 a bottle, dancing on the bar, free and dancing on the stripper pole, priceless! Rock on with my bad ass self!

~All my babies have moved out and are on their way to becoming full fledged adults! I think my house is too big for just me and Dodd! I am a sad momma today for myself, but excited that my baby boy is taking on the world! I love you all my sweet children!
~You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head, spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night!
Dec9

Oh daunting December….

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So, in the grand scheme of all-things-stay-at-home-mommyish, the month of December is daunting.  I have to find a way to take care of a 10 month old, chauffeur around a 4 and a 7 yr old, do dishes and laundry, decorate for Christmas, wrap presents, plan a birthday party, bake, keep the house clean all while running a Girl Scout troop (cookie season), taking my finals and remaining socially and intellectually stimulated. My youngest daughter has three tap shows and countless recitals, we are having a faux-sleepover for our Girl Scout troop to help parents out right before Christmas and on top of that I decided poor as we are; that I would make new Christmas stockings instead of paying for 5 new ones. What was I thinking? What do any of us Stay At Home Mommies (from here on out in my blogs – forever- SAHM) think?
For some reason I get the impression from other SAHM’s that they  feel similar to  myself, that because I am able-bodied and chose to stay home that I must do double-time to make up for not having a ‘real’ job.  As berated as I am by my friends and fiancee, I cannot shake the feeling that I should be doing everything I can to be productive and thrifty.  That’s including honing my sewing, crocheting and crafting skills and learning new skills so I can make every little pretty thing my heart desires for a small fraction of the price that retail stores sell them for.  And I am good at it; I probably could sell most of my stuff at retail stores, if only I had the time! I make baby food, use every leftover possible to make stews and pot pies and for the first time in my life I freeze meals for later dates.  That is a huge change from my overindulgent existence 10 months ago where I would gladly pay top dollar for convenience.
Now back to Christmas…it is my favorite holiday season.  I love buying and wrapping gifts, I love playing Santa and leaving little clues around the house to prove his magical existence (the debate will be a later post. trust me), I love the look on my kid’s faces Christmas morning.  It just seems out of all the years I worked, I have never been so ridiculously busy as I am the year that I am staying home.  How is it that going from an 80 hour work-week plus social activities is less busy than a 0 hour work-week plus social activities?
Here are some of the activities from this year and past years:
This year’s visit with (Grandpa) Santa….Braeleigh looks so unsure and she knew it was her Grandpa! LOL



Making cookie dough and rolling it out for our sugar cookies.

Decorating the cookies and eating the frosting (the best part don’t you know).

The finished cookies and they made other stuff too. Chocolate covered pretzels, Peanut Butter No bake cookies and Gingerbread bears, all by themselves.  And no, I wasn’t lazing around watching them, I was making my billion turkey pot pies!

Dominik at the Mayor’s Christmas Tree Lighting where Braeleigh was in a show.  It was freezing!

Braeleigh debut stage performance! She is on the end in the pink coat (the date is totally wrong! this was Nov 29th this year).

Jason and I at our annual Chiefs/Broncos game.  We were in Row 11, it was pretty awesome!

Dominik donning his first Santa’s hat while Mommy deceivingly Christmas shopped for him right in front of his sweet little face.

Santa’s little reindeer.  I figured you would like to see the costume instead of the pink bubble coat. :)


Last year’s gingerbread house…I’m sure we will make one this year too!

Yes, my daughter is Rudolph and has reindeer antlers on her forehead!

Me (a very tired, pregnant mommy) and her two baby girls!

Making Christmas ornaments in the morning…yes my oldest still has her antlers…don’t ask…

The finished ornaments…so pretty!



How do you help your children enjoy and learn about the Christmas holiday?
Dec8

When do opinions and judgement separate?

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Everyone should be allowed to voice there opinions of things, ideas, places and people.  Others may not like those opinions but when do they cross the line of becoming judgments? Or do they ever? You hear the phrase ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ but what would we have people do then?  Anything we show to people is our ‘cover’.  No one is ever sure if we really know someone and at some point you will have to have an opinion of some kind, a judgement of some kind.

So, why have we, as a society, become so defensive about the word ‘judgment’? According to many a judgment requires an action but there rarely is an action when a person is throwing out the retort, ‘Don’t judge me!’ We have simply stated our opinion, usually from the facts given. I know many who jump to conclusions without all the facts, but I am beginning to see patterns in people where they withhold many facts in order to always have the excuse that others are judgmental.
Dec7

Grammar & Spelling – Today’s Lesson from a Perfectionist Blog and Facebook reader

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“They’re”, “Their”, and “There” have 3 distinct meanings. Learn Them.



There can be used as an adjective of place:-
For example: “The dog is over there in the backyard.”

There can also be used as the introductory subject in sentences:-
For example: “There are some boxes on the floor.”

They’re is the a contraction of “they are”.
For example: “They’re always together.”
If you cannot substitute “they are” in the sentence then you shouldn’t use “they’re.”

Their is a possessive pronoun like “her” or “our”.
For example: “Have the kids done their homework?”
Dec7

Profound Thought #4

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People in general are completely self-centered.  Especially the dramatic ones who proclaim not to be dramatic.  Everything you say or write or possibly imply because you are vague is about them.  They never take into account your world doesn’t revolve around them and you only seem vague because they know nothing about you.