Apr2
Category Archives: Blech
Mar25
I’m Blah! Blah! Blah!
Antibiotics aren’t working
My usual home remedies aren’t working
Rest isn’t working
Give me something new people!
I want to be able to talk again (I know this husky voice is so sexy in a lifetime smoker kind of way but really?)
And I want to be able to do everything on my list for a day in one day instead of a week
So, any suggestions?
Nov9
My House is “Man” Clean
I woke up today two days out from having the worst food poisoning ever (not really, I had salmonella last summer) and on day three of a monster migraine that was helped along by the absence of food and water in my body.
Determined to at least get out of my bedroom for awhile, I tore through my medicine cabinet hoping for one leftover pain pill from something done when we had insurance.
You see, my migraine meds were crazy expensive on insurance and without they are $300 for NINE PILLS. Yeah…sucky, right?
So I came across one tiny pain pill leftover and shoved it in my pie-hole hoping it would allow me to get through at least a few hours in the room with our newly acquired Shriek-O-Matic(aka Bubby).
Ok, he is not so newly acquired but his early jump into the terrible twos means he has decided that every word must end in a shriek. Great for parties and migraines alike! Not so much….
Anyway, the pain pill has worked too well, or at least it has some side effects….it has made me incredibly hyper and I have a need to do something…anything!
On to the point of the story (see pain pill rambling….) my eyes have suddenly been able to open and see my home. My poor home as it has been for the past three days that I have been stuck in my bed trying to still my weak tummy and simultaneously cover my head with a pillow to hide from the shrieking monster’s cries.
I have come to a conclusion….”Man” clean is nowhere near “ME” clean. I think my hubby did only what was necessary to keep our home from becoming condemned and keep access to the food for him and my son.
YEAH RIGHT!
My daughters intelligently escaped to grandma’s house at the first sign of Mommy-sickness. Apparently they do not like “Man” clean even if their room stays in a constant state of “Kid” clean.
“Kid” clean I have come to realize is in between “ME” clean and “Man” clean. It often involves lots of food wrappers and toys but no real threat to our health.
In the state of “Man” clean, the bathroom and kitchen stay fairly (I’m using that term lightly) clean, I assume because they are the two most important rooms to my hubby.
However, everything else gets lumped onto the dining room table and the coat rack in the front room for me to handle when I get better. Let’s just hope I never get ‘for real’ long-term kind of sick or the house might fall down around me! 
Sep27
10 Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Sick Mom with Sick Kids
Ten Things Tuesday
1. ‘Wow, your house is a mess! So unlike you!’ – this makes me stabby, and you all know my particular brand of crazy, sooo……
2. Have you tried x-y-z to make yourself better? – I’m 30 years old, I know what does and does not work for me…so I doubt I will purchase the $13 pack of zinc lozenges that cured your cold in 72 minutes, quit hassling me about it.
3. Have you given your kids cough meds/tylenol/expectorant to make them better? – I have 3 of those little monsters, one of which I have had for eight whole years! Amazingly enough, I have given them the proper meds for their illness, they do have a cool mist humidifier in their room and I do know what I am doing. Getting stabby again already! LOL
4. Do you think you guys will be well again to go to ‘The huge spectacular event of mine’ in two days? – No, I don’t. Even if we were, I don’t feel like jumping immediately back into social obligations with still weak immune systems thanks.
5. Must be nice to work from home and be with your kids when they are sick. – No it’s not, they are mean little monsters when they are sick. And I can’t escape the germs, that is why I am so sick too!
6. Don’t you love it when they are all sweet and cuddly when they are sick? – Did I mention my kids get mean? Getting cuddled with is nice but I prefer sleepy not sick cuddles, I tend to dislike get sneezed-hacked-thrown up on. Plus I am sick myself and I am a do-not-invade-my-germ-infested-bubble sick person.
7. At least your hubby works from home and can help out. – Ha! That is all I have to say about that, he sleeps a lot when we are sick, my kids get their sick unpleasantness from me.
8. I know how you feel! (especially when you don’t have kids yourself) – You know nothing.
9. You look like crap! – Thank you for that. After an entire week of holding sick children through the night when I should be sleeping to get myself to get better does make me less than rock-star-ish, I’m glad for the reminder. Now where’s my knife so I can cut you?
10. Did you know your kid’s nose is all snotty? – Yes, yes I do…and I have given up the fight with it. After seven days of chasing a toddler around with a snotty nose and wiping every five minutes I surrender. The snot wins!
Check out next week on Ten Things Tuesday!
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Aug25
Top ten reasons why I am glad that I am done with school
1. Having to get up at 7am.
2. Having to be somewhere around 8am.
(early morning theme, you ask? Why yes mornings are awful!)
3. A teacher telling you where to go, when to go there and what you have to do while you are there.
(Okay, if my teacher looked like that guy I might not have cared as much, but they didn’t and judging from last year’s yearbook, they still don’t.)
4. Mostly icky hot lunch food. Hello green…..peas….mush…..is this someone else’s vomit? Gross.
5. No naps. When will this country embrace a siesta for all grades?
(I think I will quit this exercise and go nap right now. Why because I’m freelance and my kids are in school, so ;p)
6. (I’m bacccckkk!) Needing hall passes. That was awful.
‘Hey I hafta pee, like now!’
‘Sure wait while I fill out this three page form so you can walk next door to the bathroom without being stopped.’
7. Homework…I mean really what other establishment can take up 7 hours of your day and then elbow it’s way into play time?
Oh wait….I know! A job….stupid society grooming us for all work and no play…grumble, grumble.
8. Mean girls and cliques….they are still here in the real world but I can avoid their pompous asses more easily and without scars on my self-esteem.
9. PDA (Public Displays of Affection, not your Smartphone…you jackwad!)
Because it is so much better in your own home where you can run and get jiggy with it. No worrying about getting caught by teachers or anyone telling your mom!
(Wait, dammit, I forgot I had kids….maybe we should scratch this one….)
10. Term papers…oh the bane of my existence as a student. At least they taught me how to do what I do now and do it well.
This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop.
Link up! Find the button in the right hand column under Thursday ———>
Aug23
Milk Bombs are Better Than Poop Bombs
Right?
And no….I am not talking about the urban definition of milk bombs. Not nice, big jubblies…..I am talking about my toddler threw a cup of milk at me and it exploded like a bomb.
I was not forward enough thinking to get a picture because…well….let me explain.
It was yesterday morning, a nice big fat crap-tastic Monday. The kids were grumpy this being the first full week of school and they hadn’t had to get up this early coming off a Sunday of fun in quite awhile. We ran out of toilet paper so the house was in a high alert code red crisis. It just wasn’t good and Daddy was AWOL (I would have been too if I had heard the ruckus going on, so I don’t blame him!)
We walked to school as usual and after I dropped the girls off, Bubby and I headed home, quickly. The sky was clouding up and I did not feel like walking even 4 blocks in pouring rain. Two blocks away from home, my son chucks his milk cup backwards, smacking me square in the chest. It did not explode but I stopped shocked. Then it exploded at my feet and it was everywhere. Spectacular!
I walked home with him laughing his little tush off and me covered from the waist down in soggy milk sweats. I walked in and as my hubby laughed, I decided that at least it was better than the poop bombs that I pass off on him!
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Aug18
Mornings bite…
You know you are a spoiled brat when…..
you have a personal mini-fit silently to yourself in the morning by yearning for the days when your mom and grandma did everything for you.
Well not everything, everything….just the kids on a school morning everything.
I worked in Corporate America for almost 8 years, I was pregnant with my oldest daughter when I started my job. From that day until my son was about 9 months old (read….uhm 9 months ago!), my mother or grandmother handled the school morning crap.
I just had to get up, wake the kids up and send them out the door in their jammies with one of them, and working or not, I could climb back into bed for another 30 minutes or more. I never had to worry about lunches or baths, picking out clothes or combing hair and I was grateful. Grateful that my kids had grandparents that could do this for them and super grateful that my night owl ass could get a few more winks.
This all changed after I began to stay at home with the kids. It wasn’t that bad though because my oldest daughter was in second grade. She had 2 years of preschool and 2 years of elementary under her belt. She didn’t want my help in the morning. I could wake her and climb into bed until she came and got me to help her get breakfast 45 minutes later. And my mom or grandma still showed up at the front door to take her to school.
When my son was still little little, I was exhausted from the every 2 hour feedings. Not his or my choice, I actually had to wake him up too. However, he was 7 and a half weeks premature and tiny so we had to get weight on him. My mom and grandma actually came over and woke the girls up then so I didn’t even have to get out of bed. See I am so spoiled! And super lucky of course!
So that spoiled side of me is reeling on this second day of school with two kids instead of one on top of it. I have to stay up late to work, freelancing articles kicks my butt during the week because my son doesn’t like to let me work. Not saying I wouldn’t be irresponsible and stay up too late anyway. I am a night owl, that is what we do.
However, these 7am mornings are sucking. Especially with two kids instead of one. But I have put my foot down, with my mom and grandma and with myself. This is my job, my responsibility and my kids benefit when I do this.
Just do me a favor and remind me of this when I am whiny and acting spoiled or when you run into me in the grocery store and the circles under my eyes are dark and scary.
Who has spoiled you rotten?
Jul29
It’s a terrible affliction!
I am suffering from one of the worst bouts of insomnia I have ever had.
It’s sucking the all the creativity from my body!
Feb26
Welcome to the Sick House
OH my! Two weeks of sick kids plus no sleep eventually equal a very sick Mommy and Daddy. It also means that my computer does not get turned on and blogs do not get written. I feel like I have been missing out because I have had no interest in reading all the usual blogs I haunt, I’d rather curl up and sleep. That’s not happening either though. The one thing you can count on from a congested one year old is that no stretch of sleep will last longer than two hours at a time.
So after a six p.m. to 8:30p.m. nap tonight because I just couldn’t hang on anymore, I am now wide awake. Daddy stayed up with the kids so he is happily nestled into our bed with the dogs. We are hoping for night two of the baby sleeping for at least eight hours, since it’s not a work or school night it may actually happen (my other kids and fiancee are loud people when getting ready).
This lack of good sleep is resulting in a bit of rambling obviously. I have been thinking a lot about what to talk about on here. I share fun tidbits on Facebook all the time and have to learn to work those into my blogging. Trust me some of those stories are great, for instance, the other night Gillian, Brae and I went grocery shopping. Nothing big I just needed a few odds and ends, including more medicine, to get us through another few days stuck in the sick house. I decided to treat myself to a Caramel Frappuccino, which does not fall in the Wedding Diet plan, but after the week and a half I had had it sounded positively amazing. Gillian suddenly blurted out that she wanted coffee from Starbucks too. I was shocked, this is my picky kid who never wants to try anything new unless we bribe her. So the cashier asks what she would like and my 8 year old squints at the menu and says she wants a Stinky Vanilla Latte. I could not control it, the laughter just busted out and the cashier was right on with me. SO we ended up with my Venti Caramel Frap and a Tall ‘Stinky’ Skinny Vanilla Latte. Ahhh, kids.
Anyway, I feel my eyelids growing heavy and if I finally am going to get some sleep I better get to it. Missed you guys!
