I find that promoting my businesses and my blog become overwhelming. That’s one of the many reasons my blog has suffered.
One of the top recommendations by the business experts is ‘to be authentic’.
Being authentic takes a lot of work. Responding to people so they know I care even when they don’t spend a dime at my businesses is frustrating.
That is time I could be spending with my kids. Who are the reason I stay home. The reason I so desperately try to run home-based web businesses and freelance.
Also, the examples given of being authentic are usually a crock of crap. I can tell the person is working at being authentic. That’s not authentic.
What’s authentic is I am a busy mom trying to help support my family. I want you to buy my products and use my services because it helps me provide for my children. I DO care about people and my customers.
However, spending 15 hours a day promoting my business and engaging with possible customers doesn’t seem to be authentically getting me towards that goal of being with my kids.
So other bloggers in the blogosphere, I need advice, what do you do that get you readers and real blogger relationships?
You know when you are all, ‘Help me! I’m drowning in a sea of work!”
And someone is all, “Give me your hand and I will help you out cause I am awesome.”
Then you feel better and stuff, because you can breathe….oh and make your deadline.
Except they send you a stinking ball of crap that is not what you asked for at all….
Oh and I googled ‘breathe’ looking for a lovely artistic pic to make my point hit home and I found this….
WTF Novartis? Creepy!
So it has come to my attention that many have forgotten the rules of friendship.
The give and take, ebb and flow of a true meaningful one.
You can use this little rant to make your friendships stronger, since we all forget from time to time how to show our friends we are thankful they are…well, our friends.
Or you can use it to help you realize that you have some fake ones, selfish ones, just basically ones not worth your time.
~ Always keep your promises and commitments to your friends. Most of the time the people who care go out of their way to do things for you or to include you, backing out last minute or doing something with someone else after you committed (especially when you flaunt all your pictures on fb or twitter) is just rude.
~ Don’t expect tit for tat when helping your friends or giving them gifts. Give to people you care about because it makes them happy, help them because you care and it is the right thing to do. But don’t keep score and don’t throw your help or gifts in their faces when you need something. It’s just tacky and makes people not want to do ANYTHING for you.
~On the same note as above, when someone does go out of their way to throw you a baby shower or a birthday, at least make the time to go to something important of theirs. When someone spends hundred of dollars throwing something kick ass for you, nothing says “screw you!” like you not taking an hour to show up to their birthday party, wedding, baby shower….you get the point!
~ Remain a loyal friend through good and bad. I realize this isn’t possible for everyone most people are friends with, it takes a lot of effort when someone is going through bad times, but this is a must for your closest friends. Disappearing during the bad times and showing up when things are peachy is a sign of a fair-weather friend, not someone you may want to cut of because you like their company and all. But definitely don’t share your secrets with them.
~ You can have a best friend who has a different best friend. And not is the friend triangle jealousy type of way. All I’m saying is don’t assume that the person you consider your best friend considers you their best friend unless they say it themselves. They may be closer to someone else. It isn’t a bad thing, it isn’t a friendship-ender. It just is. I have had many people call me their BFF or bestie when they are far from mine. It doesn’t mean I don’t like them as much as they like me, I just happen to have friends I consider closer.
That is all! For now…..
1. The prime times for play always fall during odd times of the day or night for your family.
2. Good poker nights mean Daddy sleeps all day.
3. When you hear a yell, it is usually a bad thing…..a bad thing that concerns your spending money.
4. When you hear a yell, it is usually 3 am. Sometimes followed by a cry, from one of your kids who was scared awake. Aah!
5. When you hear a yell and respond to keep children from waking, it is usually returned with the snarky grumpiness of a man who just lost $50+.
6. Did I mention that yell means that Momma doesn’t get a new pair of shoes?
7. You are constantly subjected to conversations that includes short-stacking, EV, gut shot, the nuts and fish.
8. After awhile you know what fish, whales and donkeys are. Not the cute animals you think of.
9. Eventually you become a translator for normal human beings having a conversation with your poker obsessed spouse. ‘I ran my AA into KK twice and hit a gutter on the river with QQ vs. KK in a 3 bet pot.’ means ‘I had two Aces and another guy had two Kings in two different hands. And had a inside straight draw on the fifth (or last) card dealt with two Queens against another player with two Kings with a pot that has had 3 betting rounds in it.’ His way is much shorter but it causes peoples’ eyes to glaze over.
10. What does your husband do? Oh…..um, he is an online gambler. <weird look from the other person> This is usually followed by a totally personal invasion where any and everyone would like to know the legality of the job, what he makes and how do they get into that? (usually said sarcastically as if it were a get-rich-quick scheme)
1. Having to get up at 7am.
2. Having to be somewhere around 8am.
(early morning theme, you ask? Why yes mornings are awful!)
3. A teacher telling you where to go, when to go there and what you have to do while you are there.
(Okay, if my teacher looked like that guy I might not have cared as much, but they didn’t and judging from last year’s yearbook, they still don’t.)
4. Mostly icky hot lunch food. Hello green…..peas….mush…..is this someone else’s vomit? Gross.
5. No naps. When will this country embrace a siesta for all grades?
(I think I will quit this exercise and go nap right now. Why because I’m freelance and my kids are in school, so ;p)
6. (I’m bacccckkk!) Needing hall passes. That was awful.
‘Hey I hafta pee, like now!’
‘Sure wait while I fill out this three page form so you can walk next door to the bathroom without being stopped.’
7. Homework…I mean really what other establishment can take up 7 hours of your day and then elbow it’s way into play time?
Oh wait….I know! A job….stupid society grooming us for all work and no play…grumble, grumble.
8. Mean girls and cliques….they are still here in the real world but I can avoid their pompous asses more easily and without scars on my self-esteem.
9. PDA (Public Displays of Affection, not your Smartphone…you jackwad!)
Because it is so much better in your own home where you can run and get jiggy with it. No worrying about getting caught by teachers or anyone telling your mom!
(Wait, dammit, I forgot I had kids….maybe we should scratch this one….)
10. Term papers…oh the bane of my existence as a student. At least they taught me how to do what I do now and do it well.
This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop.
Link up! Find the button in the right hand column under Thursday ———>
You know you are a spoiled brat when…..
you have a personal mini-fit silently to yourself in the morning by yearning for the days when your mom and grandma did everything for you.
Well not everything, everything….just the kids on a school morning everything.
I worked in Corporate America for almost 8 years, I was pregnant with my oldest daughter when I started my job. From that day until my son was about 9 months old (read….uhm 9 months ago!), my mother or grandmother handled the school morning crap.
I just had to get up, wake the kids up and send them out the door in their jammies with one of them, and working or not, I could climb back into bed for another 30 minutes or more. I never had to worry about lunches or baths, picking out clothes or combing hair and I was grateful. Grateful that my kids had grandparents that could do this for them and super grateful that my night owl ass could get a few more winks.
This all changed after I began to stay at home with the kids. It wasn’t that bad though because my oldest daughter was in second grade. She had 2 years of preschool and 2 years of elementary under her belt. She didn’t want my help in the morning. I could wake her and climb into bed until she came and got me to help her get breakfast 45 minutes later. And my mom or grandma still showed up at the front door to take her to school.
When my son was still little little, I was exhausted from the every 2 hour feedings. Not his or my choice, I actually had to wake him up too. However, he was 7 and a half weeks premature and tiny so we had to get weight on him. My mom and grandma actually came over and woke the girls up then so I didn’t even have to get out of bed. See I am so spoiled! And super lucky of course!
So that spoiled side of me is reeling on this second day of school with two kids instead of one on top of it. I have to stay up late to work, freelancing articles kicks my butt during the week because my son doesn’t like to let me work. Not saying I wouldn’t be irresponsible and stay up too late anyway. I am a night owl, that is what we do.
However, these 7am mornings are sucking. Especially with two kids instead of one. But I have put my foot down, with my mom and grandma and with myself. This is my job, my responsibility and my kids benefit when I do this.
Just do me a favor and remind me of this when I am whiny and acting spoiled or when you run into me in the grocery store and the circles under my eyes are dark and scary.
Who has spoiled you rotten?
I WISH! I WISH!
….because instead of working on the work I should be doing that has been putting food on our table….
….all I have been doing is housework and playing with the kids and taking care of everything else!
So I wish for no housework, no cooking, no cleaning…but I don’t really want to be a man.
And just please, please let me get my work work done! : )
As an adult female I have often been surprised by the dictatorship of local women’s clubs and volunteer organizations. The women leaders are often self-absorbed, snooty and bigger bullies than the ones from playgrounds past. They probably are the ones from playgrounds past honestly.
While reading ‘The Help’ by Kathryn Stockett (I’m only about half way through so don’t worry this isn’t a review), I chuckled through some of the situations where Skeeter is made to feel like she will get ‘kicked’ out of the social circle for her opinions. It was funny because I have often felt the same way.
It is in all actuality awful that I have encountered this where I have. Very often the taglines of places that have been the worst are the ones claiming they are for the advancement of women and girls or a safe place for women to share stories and shoulders to cry on.
There are always cliques in these groups. The
mean girls, er, desperate housewives, I mean women leaders who run the show, making up rules as though go along. They change things without notice and scold you for not just having E.S.P. so you would know. They sweetly threaten kicking you out through clenched teeth and a fake smile. Most of them have been around forever and know how to manipulate those above and below them to get what they want. Everyone talks about what good people they are, helping out, volunteering and make the community a better place. More often they are controlling, rude and selfish people underneath.
I wonder if organizations and clubs realize that often these people drive away some of the better members and volunteers. Several have driven me very close to the edge of quitting, walking away, no matter how much good I did as a whole through the organization.
Why are women catty like that? Why can we not just get along? What is it about someone new to the group that shakes our security?