Category Archives: Just Me

Oct6

Deep Thoughts About A Dying Friendship

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Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

5.) I have no idea where the following message originated from, but it’s been floating around Facebook for the past week…who does it make you think about?

If you are looking for my usual sarcastic sense of humor and cute pictures of Ewoks….today is not your day. This week’s writing prompt has brought up something serious, a topic that hurts my heart just to think about, let alone to write about.

I have this friend…I think…I assume…hell I don’t know. She came into my life when I was very alone and when I needed someone. She was there for me and supported me through a year of turmoil and grief and depression. Then I gave back, because I was grateful for her friendship.

The problem is I have giving back and getting little ever since then. I try and try and try but she always has something better to do, some place more exciting to be.

I have texted to check on her when her FB clearly shows she is in turmoil and never received a response.

I have called, usually getting voicemail and no return call.

I have invited her to every function I have and there is always an excuse as to why she cannot attend. She even skipped my  birthday reducing me to tears when she didn’t bother showing up. Several times she has left a function she actually showed up to claiming illness, only to post pictures with other friends out at a club later the same evening. (Darn that FB and it catching people in lies….)

And if I respond to anything on her FB it seems she answers every other commenter but skips addressing me, even of I ask a direct question.

It’s infuriating….maddening and very very hurtful.

Several times I have tried to cut ties in an effort to save myself the heartache of being rejected by her. I give in every time she needs me and I’m not sure when enough is enough.

She herself posts stuff like the picture above and statuses about fake friends constantly and I feel like this is my hint as a writing prompt.

Maybe I need to let it go….maybe I should grieve this friendship where I obviously care way more for her than she does for me. Maybe by doing this I will have the strength to ignore her the next time she needs me. I really don’t think I can do it anymore.

Every invitation she declines, text message she ignores, phone call she doesn’t make breaks my heart.

This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop.

Link up! Find the button in the right hand column under Thursday ———>

Aug31

Why I Drive My Husband Nutty

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This is what my hubby has to put up with people! When he plays poker I steer clear of that room, however, I virtually bug the hell out of him. Thank you Skype!

[8:56:44 PM] Ryan: (insert picture of tiny evil bear grinning in you mind….damn Skype for not letting those copy and paste!)

[8:57:26 PM](Stranglylucid): Sorry, I missed it.

[9:02:30 PM] Ryan: did you read it

[9:02:32 PM] Ryan: did you read it

[9:02:33 PM] Ryan: did you read it

[9:02:34 PM] Ryan: did you read it

[9:02:35 PM] Ryan: did you read it

[9:06:58 PM] (Stranglylucid): No, working

[9:09:10 PM] Ryan: you were supposed to read first

[9:09:26 PM] (Stranglylucid): I was gong to read after

[9:10:03 PM] Ryan: but i warned you it would drive me nuts and i would bug you if you did not read it first

[9:10:28 PM] (Stranglylucid): U did

[9:19:16 PM] Ryan: so why are you trying to make me crazy-er

[9:23:04 PM] Ryan: it would have given you good poker mojo

[9:23:25 PM] Ryan: and it is only four pages, i would have taken like 5 minutes

[9:44:55 PM] (Stranglylucid): That was a sick intro

[9:45:04 PM] (Stranglylucid): Very good

[9:45:17 PM] Ryan: sick as in good?

[9:46:09 PM] Ryan: should i work more on it

[9:46:35 PM] (Stranglylucid): Yes, you should

[9:46:42 PM] (Stranglylucid): That intro alone will sell copies

[9:46:57 PM] Ryan: sweet

[10:36:41 PM] Ryan: aaaaaaaa-chhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooo

[10:38:12 PM] (Stranglylucid): God bless you

[10:38:24 PM] Ryan: you sneezed i heared you

[10:39:56 PM] Ryan: (insert pic of stealthy lil ninja dancing across the screen)

[10:40:33 PM] Ryan: they changed the dancing people

[10:40:35 PM] Ryan: one is a ninja

[10:40:41 PM] Ryan: and one is john travolta

[10:40:45 PM] Ryan: (insert lil dancing man)

[10:43:00 PM] Ryan: they need a michael jackson moonwalk dancer

[10:43:13 PM] Ryan: (insert squirrel eating a nut)

[10:43:48 PM] (Stranglylucid): (insert lil dancing man)

[10:44:14 PM] Ryan: he looks like john travolta in saturday night fever

[10:44:15 PM] (Stranglylucid): The after surgery version of michael jackson

[10:44:23 PM] Ryan: i want a half black man

[10:44:29 PM] Ryan: with a sparkly glove

[10:44:31 PM] Ryan: dammit

[10:44:48 PM] Ryan: I <3 michael jackson

[10:46:03 PM] (Stranglylucid): sigh

UPDATE: Thriller montage added!

Aug26

Guess who is turning 30?!

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Come Monday morning I will have moved over to begin the next decade of my life!

I plan on spending the weekend celebrating this event with much wine and many friends. And knowing my hubby and my friends….many, many shots.

There will be a sushi dinner, then back at our house we will have a poker table, much music, a photo booth/video booth, snacks, drinks and craziness!

So I am signing off for the weekend, but I promise to bring stories back with me Monday morning. Especially since all the cool people up at my par-tay will be Vaudeville actors and actresses for a night!

Kind of like the Yard Dogs Road Show attire below.

Can you wait to see the pictures? I can’t!

Check out Flash-back Friday hosted by Cooking for my Captain and Cooking Mimi, button is on the right ——->

May10

Pin-up Love!

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I feel so disconnected! It’s been awhile loveys and it might be another month or so of sporadic posts. : (  It’s wedding crunch time so I haven’t been online much at all and I know I have neglected you.

I did take some time to have some fun for my friend Larynn’s 30th birthday. 

Here’s some pin-up love (it was a pin-up birthday party photo shoot with several of us, but since the blog is public I will only share my photos)

These photos are all raw and unedited.  Photos by Vixen Pinup Photography, Make-up by Candypants Cunningham and Hair by Nikki Moreno

Apr14

A glimpse inside

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5.) What do the contents of your handbag/purse “say” about you?
(inspired by Kristi from Live And Love Out Loud)
For this post I decided to literally dump it out without cleaning:
First of all I carry a bright purple leopard print purse with a giant flower on the front and a huge fake diamondy center.  If that doesn’t say something about me, I don’t know what does! :)
~ On to my contents ~
Two glasses cases: One holding prescription sunglasses and one holding my fake glasses.
What one says is that I like my eyes to be protected from the sun and to be able to see without randomly running people over with my car.  
The other gives you a window into my crazy insecurities.  I hate how I look without glasses; I have worn glasses since I was in elementary school. I literally will put in contacts and wear fake glasses, I know, it’s horrible!
My checkbook: In my ugly old blue checkbook holder.  Not even sure why I carry it I never use it!  It says I am so a debit card girl! 
My wallet: It’s a cute Thirty-One Bag ™ wallet in Cool Ditzy…yes that is the official print.  It’s crammed full of discount and member cards with my id and precious debit card thrown in.  If I can get a discount or store credit back or even a punch card then I have it.
I’m pretty sure that says I’m thrifty, not cheap…
(at least I hope that what it says)
3 receipts:
One from Mickey-D’s for a (surprise surprise) Iced Caramel Latte. Those are my guilty pleasure and one from Starbucks makes me even happier.  Guess I jumped on the coffee craze train many years ago!
One from Jose Pepper’s for dinner and my drinks.  That’s from Monday and it not the norm.  My assistant Girl Scout leader and BFF Jen and I went to discuss this week’s meeting.  After everything on both of our shoulder’s lately, we needed margaritas and they were $1.99 each.  Couldn’t pass that up….cause I’m thrifty, yo!
The last one is a Chopper Reward Statement…..just so you know I have 1000 points, a whole dollar off gas baby! : p

5 pens: a Sharpie, a scrapbook pen (not sure why, don’t ask), a black Bic, a blue Bic and blue pin advertising a heating and cooling company.

I like to write and hate not having my own pin. I’m a control freak, it’s true!

BeautiControl Lip Apeel: Which I never use.  I roll around with cracked lips and freaking Lip Apeel and lip balm in my purse. I don’t think about myself, that’s what that says.  I can remember to put two meds on my daughters boo boo’s twice a day, never let my baby have diaper rash, but never put balm on my own lips.

Coupon: $5.00 off Similac baby! Thrifty!

Business Cards, my own and a lady who walked up at Jose Pepper’s because she heard us say Girl Scouts: This says I’m prepared and I’m nice when someone rudely interrupts my dinner and meeting planning session.  My margarita does not signify I’m not on business…HELLO!

Lab Result card from my OBGYN: So you now know I get my annual check up done and get to call in for results.

Hopefully that says I am totally responsible and is not just TMI.

My coin purse: If you couldn’t see it well in the pic, it’s super cute.  I got it at a boutique in Parkville ages ago and it’s a hand painted fashionista chick.  She’s all cutesy and glittery.  I love it because it is adorable and always has quarters.

That says I like stuffed animal claw machines and air hockey.  You may not have got that from it, but trust me.


LifeQuest church card: also from the lady who walked up at Jose Pepper’s.  Girl Scouts means ‘I will pimp your not for profit event!’ didn’t you know that?

My cute Nail kit case and the contents of which were all over the purse instead of in the case: This says I’m messy but take care of my nails.

Pillbox: It matches my nail kit and contains Benedryl and a Valium. Um yeah…….

Random key: *shrug* I really have no clue where it came from or what it goes to.  Now you have a secret window into my air-headedness.

Black flower hair clip: My favorite accessory! I LOVE flower hair clips!!! Maybe that says I’m not quite grown-up yet or that I am comfortable not to care if I am almost 30 wearing a flower in my hair.

I prefer the latter.

The usual suspects that are missing…..cellphone and massive key chain with keys.  Those get used at home so the were MIA in the pic.

Mama’s Losin’ It

This post was written as part of a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.
Apr12

Adult? Me? Nah!

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This week I loved every single prompt, so I am attempting a Week of Writer’s Workshop!

1.) The moment I realized I was a grown up.

I was a very lucky young woman when I had my first two babies.

I had a mother who had been there done that with the single mom at a young age thing, so it was very easy to live life. Coupled with an over-protective grandmother who knew I had no clue what I was doing, my kids had it good and I got to be, for lack of a better word, free….

It was some time after I had my youngest daughter and after my first marriage that I had that moment. The moment where my life was falling apart and no one was sweeping me off my feet and saving me from it.

I was reeling from the break-up of my short marriage, my bank accounts were empty and I had two young children old enough to know what was going on.

My paychecks were never enough, the bills never stopped piling up and I was lonely.

It was Valentine’s Day 2008 and I was wallowing in a lost marriage, all the good ones that got away (my ex-husband not one of them) and wanting someone, anyone to spend the night with.

I resolved to organize my life that night to distract me from my ridiculous self-pity.

Suddenly, with tears running down my face because I was facing how behind on the mortgage I was and a possible foreclosure, I realized there was no going back.

I couldn’t un-grow up.

No matter how badly I wanted it to be easier that wasn’t going to happen…ever.

I was an adult, not just in age but in circumstance now. I had no choice; life was telling me that I couldn’t hide anymore.

Mama’s Losin’ It

This post was written as part of a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Apr7

If You Only Knew

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3.) If you really knew me, you would know that…

..I really have no clue what my natural hair color would look like at this point.  I can’t stand everything being the same all the time yet my personality needs stability and consistency.  So, I don’t change my routine, my living space or my surrounding that often but my hair rarely stays the same color for more than 2 months.

..I really really hate it when people don’t RSVP for things.  Or RSVP ‘Yes’ and don’t show up. Or RSVP ‘Maybe’ when they have no intention of showing up.  We are all adults, please have some courtesy for the fact I just spent all day cleaning or cooking or decorating or whatever for you.

…I love to cook from scratch and can whip up a good meal out of almost any combo of ingredients that I have in my sometimes near empty cupboard.  Three little kids and a big man-kid really do eat me out of house and home, not sure what I am gonna do when they get older.

…I cannot stand how I look without my glasses.  I will wear contacts with fake glasses (usually on sunny days where I want to wear sunglasses or not worry about losing my real glasses) before I will go without.

…I still have my first teddy bear and favorite unicorn stuffed animal from when I was a girl.  I am not really a materialistically sentimental person so this really surprises some people.

…I am a natural leader who actually prefers to be out of the spotlight doing the busy work.  I will take the lead when no one does and I will do it well.  I will organize a billion things for anyone and everyone, but I really would rather be the one behind the scenes doing paperwork or crunching numbers.

…I am ridiculously addicted to the Bravo Network, especially the train-wreck that is the Real Housewives.  How people can act like some them do is beyond me, but it does supply me with a lot of laughs.

Mama’s Losin’ It

This post was written as part of a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Apr4

The Ultimate Par-tay! Come blog with us!

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Ultimate Blog Party 2011

This will be my first year joining the party! When I truly started blogging regularly at the end of last summer I struggled with building a readership. My limited time to network has made it difficult, but now that Daddy Dearest works from home and doesn’t have 2 jobs, I am gonna get on it! LOL

For new readers, here is a little about me:

Hi! I’m Ryan, also known as Ry, Ry-Ry, Shelley, Rockstar(a high school nickname that accompanies my BFF’s nickname Pornstar, silly boys thinking we didn’t know they called us that…oh and my BFF was sweet and innocent and def not in porn, lol) Babe and of course Mommy. I’m coming up on my 30th birthday this summer and I reside in the ever temperamental Midwest USA.

I am a long time unpublished writer and published poet. The whirlwind of college years and babies got me away from writing seriously. I got a ‘grown-up’ job in Corp America where I was used and abused for 8 long years as I tried to be ‘responsible’. Both of my daughters, Gillian (8) and Braeleigh (4), were born during these years of single mom-dom and 60-80 hour work-weeks.

After many complications during my pregnancy with my son Dominik (1), I realized how much I had neglected my daughters. My fiancee and I decided that it was time for me to hang up my ‘working mom’ hat for awhile. It was a good thing we planned for that because my son was born premature leaving me with no choice but to stay home with him.

And thus was born My Misadventures of Stay-At-Mommyhood….so read and enjoy!

Mar28

Missing the Merry-Go-Round

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Ever since one of the Girl Scout moms and I had a conversation about parks the other day, I have been nostalgic.

I have been taking the kids to the park more since the weather is warming up. Something I haven’t been able to do in the past because I worked and when I was first staying at home, Dominik was too little.

Anyway, we were talking about how we missed the things that made the park fun for us as kids. The silly little animals on springs that you could get and ‘ride’, the creaky old merry-go-round, the swing sets…..

If that last one surprised you, it sure did me too.  They have done extensive remodeling on our parks in my town over the last few years and apparently not only did we lose merry-go-rounds and monkey bar domes, but swing sets didn’t make the cut either.

So the the remodel of the park across the street took us from a full playground with several areas and things to play on down to three things. A sand volleyball area, a soccer field and what as kids we called a ‘big toy’.

The big toy has three slides and is similar to the picture above though much taller.  It has one tire swing off to the side and that is it.

My kids go to the park and after 30 minutes they are done.  Why? Because we have a small version of the big toy in our backyard.  And….at least ours has swings attached and sand to play in.

If there aren’t many other kids there when we are, there is nothing to do, you can’t play soccer or sand volleyball with a mom, a 4 yr old and an 8 yr old.

It makes me sad that they won’t have memories of climbing the pole to ring the bell, riding the silly bear with the circus hat trying to get the nose to touch the ground or having swinging contests to see who can get the highest.

The worst is the feeling that my kids will not know the camaraderie and excitement of getting a whole bunch of kids on the merry-go-round and taking turns spinning it.

Ten of you holding on for your dear lives with one leg down, all pushing off like we were rowing a boat…faster and faster.

Or the satisfaction of talking a ‘big kid’ into spinning you as fast as they can and you hold on as tight as you can, feeling like you were going to throw up and loving every second of it.  

Don’t be surprised if you see a post this summer that we are installing a merry-go-round in our backyard, lol.  Never put anything past me.